February 16, 2025
Dharma Message



Children have very “big ears”. They can hear everything that is not supposed to be heard. When parents tell their children it is time for bed, bath time or to clean their rooms, they suddenly go deaf. Children are also great observers. They see and mimic what person or character they like. We as adults and parents must al-ways be aware of our actions and words, for our children “lurk” without our knowing.

If a child is raised in a home where the parents are screamers, the children think that is normal behavior and they may become conditioned to such situations. If a child is raised in an “aggressive” home, this is the behavior they think is normal. Parents or adults have a large influence on children. The children learn these traits from the parents and adults they live with. Parents are the ones that children first encounter.

Parents and adults have responsibilities to raise children with good manners, “sportspersonship”, the tools to make appropriate choices and good behavior. Parents also want their children to be the best they can be. However, children do have “big ears and eyes” and parents and adults tend to forget their own manners and those negative traits can affect the child’s behavior and thinking.

Children want to be just like the parents or adults they adore. That is normal, for children love their parents and want to please them. However, it is how we influence our children’s demeanor and thinking that is important. Parents have the gift to teach compassion, socialization, kindness and protection. Parents can teach the child to think, say and do good actions and words. However parents and adults must be aware of their own words and actions and the influence they have on children.

By all nature, children are born naïve and totally innocent. Yet through parents’ and adults’ actions and words, children begin to take on the personality of their parents or adult. Children see the actions of that per-son and they hear their words. Yet, children do not understand what is being said but mimic what is said at home and take it to school with them. Children repeat the words and actions of their influencer. They hear and see the actions from home without understanding them, yet they “spew out words” because to them this is normal behavior. As said before, children do have big ears, and they do act out what they see as normal. They hear hatred, discrimination and prejudices without understanding or explanation. These children may eventually become “bullies” and act out what is heard and seen.

Bullying can come in the form of harassment, discrimination, prejudgment. teasing, sometimes physical attack or taking someone’s self-worth and esteem away from them. They do not realize that the child being bullied is very vulnerable. These vulnerable children are tortured psychologically, emotionally and verbally. Some symptoms are loss of appetite, depression, afraid to go to school or even thoughts of suicide. I am talking about young, innocent age children, who are just finding out about life.

A simple rule to remember is that if you treat others with anger and cause hardship, the results will be re-turned in the same manner. We want peace and harmony, yet chaos sometimes clouds our thoughts and actions. We remember our Nembutsu/Namu Amida Butsu and Golden Chain as a pause, to truly think about how our influences on others are seen and heard. We are teachers to our children.

Gassho,
Rev. Seijo Naomi Nakano